A Verbal Massage, Southern Style….

verbal massage

Contrary to popular belief (one of you bastards started a rumor) my intellect IS capable of sustaining a worthy conversation primarily due to my extended vocabulary.

Even in Georgia, some rednecks are educated. Surprised huh?

I’ll prove it by allowing you ungrateful denizens a glimpse of my intellectuality.

It started years ago, in the fifth grade. Carol proved to be a true adversary in the spelling bee but conceded to me on the last word because she knew, intellectually, she was a mere pawn and I was King.

But it cost me.

Taking that ribbon at the expense of making my female peer cry broke me down mentally.

So, for the sake of female’s sensitivity, I have always masked my intelligence.

You can thank me later.


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34 Responses to A Verbal Massage, Southern Style….

  1. Uh huh.. umm.. yeah. I believe ya. 😉

  2. Mr. Fabulous says:

    You continue to be an inspiration to me in so many ways…

  3. blueyes says:

    How thoughtful of you —- NOT!

  4. Lynda says:

    So, is that a picture of E?

  5. mindy says:

    how thoughtful of you… thank you!!

  6. slicksumbich says:

    Manic-
    Do I sense an issue of mistrust? 😉

    FabMan-
    Thank you kind sir. I knew a man of your intellect would understand the reasoning behind my deceitful stupidity.

    blueyes-
    Another mistrustful one?

    Lynda-
    It’s not, but now that you mention it….they do resemble. He’s out of town, I can talk bad about him today.

  7. slicksumbich says:

    mindy-
    Finally! Some well deserved appreciation! Thank you ma’am.

  8. River Rat says:

    and they say chivalry is dead!

  9. Blogarita says:

    There’s a word for guys like you. Do you think you know how to spell it?

  10. slicksumbich says:

    Rattie-
    Hey! My thoughts exactly!!

    Blogarita-
    Why yes I do G-E-N-T-L-E-M-A-N 😉 lol

  11. Mist 1 says:

    There were too many big words in that post. Can you dumb the next one down for me?

  12. Reba says:

    Thanks so much. Girls like me appreciate it. Especially since I would die without spell check.

  13. trish says:

    The OTHER Trish

    And this is why we love you, Slickie-baby! You always know how to make a woman feel special. In a short-bus kinda way. ;P

    Moron.

  14. Lynda says:

    Every time I look at that picture, I just think, “Well, you know what they say about guys who like big guns….”

  15. The fact that you used the word “denizens” disproves your statement mr Sumbitch.

    But we shall let it slide this time.

  16. slicksumbich says:

    Mist-
    I apologize. When my intelligence is unleashed, lo and behold….I lose a few folks.

    Reba-
    Spell check? What is that?? 😉

    blueyes-
    Please, let’s not encourage Mist. We know how she gets.

    The OTHER Trish-
    LOL! Glad I could help, Asswipe!

    Lynda-
    You’ve just implanted a horrible mental image for me, thanks

    Scottsdale Girl-
    Heeeey, “denizens” a very fitting word, I think. Don’t make me doubt myself!

  17. Kellie says:

    You really know how to make a girl feel all tingly inside, doncha?

    LOL@ Mist

  18. Dixie says:

    Well, my husband would say that the girl was only crying to make you feel bad and that since you did (feel bad) she actually won!

  19. Tracy says:

    I love Trish’s comment…….She summed it up for me!

  20. beccy says:

    Way to go Dixie!!!

  21. Lux Lisbon says:

    What was the winning word?

  22. slicksumbich says:

    Kellie-
    It’s my specialty, just ask Trish 😉

    Dixie-
    Your husband has a good point! She was just baiting me then, huh?

    Tracy-
    We won’t tell her or she’ll just get a “big head”

    beccy-
    What’d she do??!!

    Lux-
    If I reveal the winning word, it’ll only prove my superior intelligence. The very thing I’m trying to avoid in this post!

  23. Thank you for sparing my poor female feelings. I would hate to faint right here by my computer.

  24. martie says:

    You are a true gentleman, slick…..and I’m not just saying that cause I’m your I-Mom! I had you pegged correctly from the very beginning!!

  25. Oh thank you great one of intellect.

  26. Chuck says:

    I totally agree with Dixie’s husband….them womenfolk can be manipulative when they want to be.

    Spelling B winner huh? That’s quite impressive. I wouldn’t have thought you had it in ya! 😉

    So, is that your best buddy E in the picture? 😆

  27. Rain says:

    Just wanted to stop by to thank you for stopping by my site and taking the time to comment.

    I really enjoyed reading your post and that is an impressive gun in the photo. =)

  28. db says:

    Bwhahaha…. spelling bee’s. We don’t have those here in SA, but I know what they are.

    Would’ve been fun doing those …. *kidding*

    Hope you’re well. Thank you for popping into my blog so faithfully 🙂

  29. Beth says:

    Thank you SO much slick!! I like a man who doesn’t LORD his brains over me…or anything else, for that matter. You’re a peach!

  30. BID says:

    Oooh you have been found by your best friend though…..how smart is that?! I’m glad you and your friend are connected again though. Remember you can count your true friends on one hand!

  31. beccy says:

    Dixie explained how really the girl won!

  32. tracey says:

    Okay, you made me laugh! Outloud, even, and that just doesn’t happen often in blog land. You are obviously a very intelligent southern redneck!

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