My posts lately have been more of the sexual nature than usual so today, I have vowed to avoid using the term sex.
We’ll just use “intercoursal affiliation”.
Of course, being an almost married man, I only have one affiliate that I’m being intercoursal with. So, there’s not much to tell….
Instead, I’ll tell the story of my incarceration 4 years ago.
No I won’t either. I’ve already talked about that event in my life and I refuse to collaberate with people who already suspect me of being perverted and twisted.
I have done nothing wrong and I am not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay….according to my gay cousin.
My fiance is leaving today headed to Dallas, Texas until Wednesday. Unfortunately, I am off until Wednesday.
Being that I am a germaphobe, there will be no orgies but I have invited 2 of my buddies over tomorrow for some XBox, beer drankin’, and porn watching.
There may even be pictures.
March 5, 2007 at 9:32 am |
i was coming over for the gay sex, but xbox and beer is just as good.
March 5, 2007 at 10:04 am |
Well, I’d come over for the beet drankin’ and the porn watchin’, but I’d have to sit out of the Xbox playing. Makes my thumbs hurt.
People suspect you of being perverted and twisted? The horror!
March 5, 2007 at 10:08 am |
Trish still trusts you alone. I would think after the last time….
March 5, 2007 at 10:11 am |
Damn! I can’t make it until after 6:00. Should I ask the warden if he’ll let me see you anyway?
March 5, 2007 at 10:11 am |
I really don’t know much about watching porn (I’m a porn virgin), but from what you said it sounds like you will be watching it with other guys. Is it common for guys to get together to watch porn?
March 5, 2007 at 10:16 am |
I just cannot wait!!
March 5, 2007 at 10:44 am |
Now Slick, no shenanigans while Trish is away…..and remember, MOMS always find out! So don’t think you can lie to me about this! LOL
(BTW ~ gas is $2.59/gallon here now)
March 5, 2007 at 10:47 am |
I’m not invited? Well dang. I drink beer, fart and scratch myself. I don’t play xbox though. And I’m not telling you that I watch porn….uh…I mean if. Yeah if I watch porn.
March 5, 2007 at 10:58 am |
E-
Well, I gotta be real drunk maybe
Julie-
The XBox makes your thumbs hurt? Porn makes mine hurt…they should make the rewind and pause buttons easier to press
Lynda-
She said she’s going to thoroughly inspect the freezer when she arrives back home
Blogarita-
If all goes according to plan, I’m going to return them back to their houses by 6 p.m. They’ll just drink all my beer and eat all my porkskins if I let’em stay too long.
Amy-
Depending on how much beer guys drink, a porn can be viewed while in the same company. 2 rules while watching porn with other guys…no sweat pants and no public fondling yourself
BID-
For the pictures I’m assuming?
I-Mom-
Awwww, I Mom…I’m a good little boy. 2.59? Is that the cheap shit too?
Dixie-
How much beer ya got?? Uh huh, we already know you watch porn….
March 5, 2007 at 11:51 am |
have fun while she is away!! i wish I was going to Dallas, my best friends are there.
March 5, 2007 at 12:04 pm |
All I write about is sex. And shoes.
March 5, 2007 at 12:45 pm |
Here’s an idea…they should combine X-Box and Porn….sort of like interactive
virtual intercoursal affiliation……
go ahead, steal my idea and run with it – I have been way too busy to start something new.
I want royalties tho…..
March 5, 2007 at 1:27 pm |
Hey slicker! I should be able to come visit more often now that I’m back. Sounds like you got a fun few days ahead! Enjoy!
March 5, 2007 at 2:12 pm |
Well hot damn! I finally get to leave a comment today! I tried in vain (in vain, I tell you!) to leave comments the last two times, but these government computers? They’re wonky. Hope your beer drankin’, porn watchin’ and XBOX playin’ were quite satisfactional.
March 5, 2007 at 4:25 pm |
Sounds like it COULD erupt into an orgy…
March 5, 2007 at 5:32 pm |
That whole “may be pictures” thing worries me. Pictures of what?
March 5, 2007 at 5:59 pm |
Wooohoo Bachelors night in!
Just remember no Dr Pepper in the freezer ok?
March 5, 2007 at 6:33 pm |
The OTHER Trish.
Hrm.. beer, xbox, and porn. What could possibly go wrong??
Moron.
March 5, 2007 at 8:04 pm |
Ah yeah, buddies getting together to play x-box, drink beer, watch porn and have a circle jerk….ain’t nothing better than that……oh wait, you did mention the circle jerk, right?
Never mind….forget I said that….
March 5, 2007 at 8:06 pm |
You have never even been to jail, much less prison. Although that would explain your tendency to wear the red thong when you are cleaning the house. That would also explain why Trish calls you her B*^$h. See you on the golf course.
March 5, 2007 at 8:58 pm |
Please put more pictures on your post!!
And talk about sex too.
March 5, 2007 at 9:19 pm |
Porn and xbox. Hmmm. How many TV screens do you have?
March 5, 2007 at 9:31 pm |
Jodes-
She coulda hid you in her suitcase!
Mist-
Trust me, I know
Meg-
I think you’re on to something. Interactive Virtual Intercoursal Affliation. No worrying about genital warts!
15% be enough for ya?
Nelly-
Glad you’re back safe and sound. Don’t forget to get out your winter coat again
Alex-
Uh oh, the government watchin’ me? Tell Sam he’ll get more of my money in April
Fab-
Depends on how many 6 packs I consume
Kari-
lol…scared huh?
Mel-
Ha! Trust me, I’ve already recieved the lecture on the Dr. Pepper thing before she left! She’ll be happy you reminded me though
OTHER Trish-
Sounds like one helluva day doesn’t it?
Chuck-
I’ll kick them bastards out if either one of’em touches me
Dearest Sister Suzie Q-
I went to jail like when I was 12 years old…wait, I said 4 years ago, right? Ah, whenever it was. You was at our cousin’s house gettin’ drunk, you don’t remember. Can we go play Wed?
Minxxxx-
lol…like the pictures huh??!
Renagu-
Well, if we tried to watch porn and play XBox…the porn would just distract us. Can’t do it at the same time, no way no how
March 6, 2007 at 12:45 am |
You have a great fiance’ to allow this “male bonding” Wait, your friends are males, correct?
March 6, 2007 at 12:54 am |
I’ve always wondered if men really get together and watch porn! Suppose you’re entry answers that question.
March 6, 2007 at 3:37 am |
So, is that gay porn you’re watching with all those male friends over? No tellin’ what will happen with that beer drinkin’ too!
March 6, 2007 at 7:27 am |
can I come too, if I bring my own cosmos?
March 6, 2007 at 12:43 pm |
Beer and Xbox? Cool dill Pickle! But porn with other guys, uh huh. We’re not gay at all!