Some days, as I did last night, I dig deep into the recesses of my simple mind, past all the pornographic images, to a part that’s so sensible and mature, it literally scares me.
Did I need all those damn commas?
As I was lying in bed last night contemplating on whether or not I should wake Trish or just touch myself, I began to analyze a question that was directed at me earlier in the evening by Trisha’s brother-in-law.
“Mike, do you want a bachelor party? Like at a nudie bar?”
Since Trish was sitting right beside me, my first answer was …
“Hell NO! What kind of man do you think I am?! How brazenly distateful you are my friend! Where’s your damn morals?”
Later on, I asked him where. He told me in Vegas, after we get there.
Look, I can see “uncovered cleavage” for free in Atlanta…well, not for free but I don’t have to pay airfare or a hotel room if we do it here. I’d much rather waste my time sight-seeing, as I’ve never been to Las Vegas and am looking forward to seeing all kinds of shit.
Besides, if we do it in Vegas, I wouldn’t have my friends close by to bail me out of trouble.
Now I ask you, after 36 years, is that a sign I’m growing up?
March 2, 2007 at 9:10 am |
So grown up, it’s astounding.
March 2, 2007 at 9:13 am |
Okay, nudie bars are not my thing. Why go to a place and look when you have something at home you can touch (and don’t have to pay for)? I don’t understand men and their need for so much sex? I love sex as much as the next person, but I am not going out looking for it or at it! Integrity, it is hard to fnd in a man. Covet the one you love, not a stranger. They don’t love you back!
March 2, 2007 at 9:18 am |
You are an amazingly grown up grownup. I never knew that a man could think so logically. Excellent idea, go with it.
Take lots of ones. And 100’s. You know, for bail.
March 2, 2007 at 9:21 am |
Dixie-
Awww, thanks. I’m 35 now, I reckon’ it’s about time.
Tracy-
Hear! Hear! Those are for sick perverted folks! I quit going last week!
March 2, 2007 at 9:21 am |
Julie-
You think 700 bucks in one’s will be enough?
March 2, 2007 at 10:06 am |
Depends on how big her titties are.
March 2, 2007 at 10:14 am |
Julie-
Ha! So you’re more of a “quality over quantity” kinda girl??
March 2, 2007 at 10:15 am |
Astonishingly mature……for a youngster like you! You’re a good man, slick!!! Love ya!
March 2, 2007 at 10:59 am |
The OTHER Trish
~sniffle~
Aww.. it’s so cute when they grow up…. ;P
OH! I nominated you for the Funniest Blog Award. Go here: http://www.thebestofblogs.com/2007/02/01/funniest-blog/ and pick up your little Best of Blog awards doo-hickey-thingy. Voting starts TODAY – erm.. at some point..
Oh, and I was nominated by astrocoz for best new blog – I’ll vote for you if you vote for me. 
March 2, 2007 at 11:24 am |
Martie-
Awww I Mom, you say that because its only your responsibility to make me feel good, right?
OTHER Trish-
Asswipe? I seen where you nominated me. I owe you big time. If only I can get the support from my 3 million fans! Anyway, I’m all excited and I got this tingly feeling right now. I’m like “oooo, yeah…” I need to go for now.
March 2, 2007 at 11:24 am |
OTHER Trish-
And oh yeah…i’m voting for you!
March 2, 2007 at 1:08 pm |
Ok, you’re starting to frighten me with this grown up attitude. Stop. It.
Oh, by the way, you and Trish better look me up when ya’ll come to Vegas!
March 2, 2007 at 1:28 pm |
I know for sure that my fiance will have a stipper and probably end up at the nudie bars. My first experience with a nudie bar was with him. It wasn’t as bad as I thought plus the bathrooms were so shiny. I told him he can go back anytime he wants, but he is not allowed to sit at the stage. He can look but there the girls touch, etc. Not cool.
March 2, 2007 at 2:25 pm |
nudie bars ROCK! why do men go? same reason all men go we cant get our wives to wear those plastic heels.
March 2, 2007 at 2:27 pm |
oh yeah and i like nipple tassels! and the vip room smells like summer,but shes a nice girl.
March 2, 2007 at 2:32 pm |
Damn man, that is being a grown up. I never got to have a bachelor party. I’d have loved to see, feel, smell, slurp some titties. But I understand….sometimes you just have to put perversion aside and act like a Baptist church deacon.
March 2, 2007 at 2:36 pm |
Mmmm Vegas.
March 2, 2007 at 2:45 pm |
Let me just tell you: Vegas strip clubs are unlike other state strip clubs. Just sayin. Yes, I’ve been there. I made The Man take me to Cheeta’s on our honeymoon almost 11 years ago. It was right after that movie with the Save the Bell chick. Anyway, wow.
As for never having been there, if you really want to soak up the town, go to lasvegas.com and click on free stuff. There is a whole shit load of things to do/see. Email me if you have questions or need suggestions. I’ve been there lots. And I’m going tomorrow for a wedding of all things.
March 2, 2007 at 6:06 pm |
Yer a grown up, and titty bars are for grown ups.
March 2, 2007 at 6:23 pm |
Well one thing would be you would be doing your married men friends that will be there a favor by letting THEM see the nudies..right?
Ok. I am a girl so what do I know!
March 2, 2007 at 9:19 pm |
I’m proud of you – but I must share with you that if you go to Vegas you must at least venture into the Olympic Garden — I promise you won’t regret it. Just stay on the first floor where you belong — if you head upstairs you’ll be the one stripping! haha
March 2, 2007 at 9:37 pm |
I’m sorry, but no. That picture at the top totally creeped me out. Thanks for that.
Oh and I like commas.
March 3, 2007 at 8:18 am |
Hey!!! Look at you, you’re growing up! I’ll let you know when I do LOL
March 3, 2007 at 9:56 am |
mmmmmmmmmmmmm summer
March 3, 2007 at 11:54 pm |
Don’t do it. They are over-rated.
All of my friends that had the parties are now divorced. Mr. X and I didn’t want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party and we’ve been married for almost 19 years. We’ll be having our own special kinda party in Vegas in April.
Oh, yeah, you knowww it..Bwahahaha! Shots anyone?
March 4, 2007 at 12:40 am |
I don’t wanna grow up cuz if I did……………….
March 4, 2007 at 1:31 am |
I think strip clubs are depressing
All those guys who can’t get laid! haha.
I can never figure out why guys like to look at naked chicks together (is it a secret desire to have threesomes with other guys??
)
March 4, 2007 at 11:10 am |
slick, I think yu are finally growing up…..I’m so proud!
March 4, 2007 at 6:24 pm |
When I get rough he looks at me like I’ve lost it. Is that a cover up? On the other hand he loves the dirty talk. In fact he’s been kind of a bad boy so……….*l*
March 4, 2007 at 6:24 pm |
Oh yeah, you’re such a grown up now.
March 4, 2007 at 7:49 pm |
Great site. Lots of laughs to be had. You remind me of an afternoon DJ in So Cal, named Tom Leykis. I’m looking forward to more posts.
March 4, 2007 at 8:47 pm |
OH PALEEEEEASE!
March 5, 2007 at 12:05 am |
No, it just means your cheap. :0)
March 5, 2007 at 7:43 pm |
Heh. I guess I can’t make the growing-up call, since I don’t have a really good grasp on what kind of person you are/have been. But yes, I think all the commas were necessary. Without them, the sentence would have seemed entirely too run-on-ish.
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier
March 6, 2007 at 7:30 am |
You have to watch Very Bad Things.