Slick ain’t got shit to say today. Why I’m talking about myself in third person only backs up the theory that I’m an ignorant redneck sumbich.
I’m sitting here with my half frozen quart of chocolate milk, 2 glazed donuts, and a kleenex for my snot encrusted nostrils mentally searching my brain for something to write about.
Nothing is coming to me. Well, except cleavage and that’s only because I have another window opened and I’m looking at my porn collection.
Yep, cleavage. I’m obsessed with it.
A woman don’t need no brains. Just blonde hair and some nice cleavage.
Wait a minute…Trish don’t have no blonde hair.
I’m gonna stop here.
In other news, I have found out how to get off the phone with Trisha without being rude. For example, she calls this morning….
“Hey babe, what you doing?” she asks….
“(grunting) Nothing. You made it to work?”
“Yeah. Stopped and got me a chicken biscuit and they messed my order up”
“(louder grunting) that’s a shame” I said
“What in the hell are you doing Mike??”
“(even more grunting) Nothing babe, just sitting here on the toilet”
I must’ve lost my signal because all the sudden, the line went dead.
February 27, 2007 at 8:36 am |
Now that’s just WRONG, Slick!!!
btw, I don’t have blonde hair either! You got somethin’ against BRUNETTES????
Huh? Do ya?
February 27, 2007 at 9:20 am |
YEAH, RIGHT….. like you have even have the slightest idea what a chick’s hair color is when your looking at her cleavage!!! Whatever, nice try…….
February 27, 2007 at 9:28 am |
Prunes would help that constipation.
February 27, 2007 at 9:37 am |
Ew. pooping while on the phone..
and redheads are better..heh heh..
February 27, 2007 at 9:41 am |
HEY…what about naturally curly brownish chicks with cleavage? I’ll try to get a cleavage shot of me in FL just for you slick! Nothing to revealing, but tasty. hee hee
February 27, 2007 at 9:52 am |
How many ways can you continue to show us that you’re a sick, sick man?
February 27, 2007 at 10:00 am |
CG-
Noooo, nothing wrong with Brunettes whatsoever! I think that’s Trisha’s hair color. Brown.
Meg-
Come on, I ain’t just some PIG.
Lynda-
lol….yeah, but I hate that crap. Cereal always works good for me.
Sandi-
Redheads? I heard stories……
Nelly-
How you gonna be wearing a bathing suit when it’s gonna be raining everyday?
Blogarita-
HA! I’m just getting started
February 27, 2007 at 10:08 am |
Why do people get pissed off when you do that? When I talk to people on the phone and I gotta go, I’m going. Of course I would never grunt, but they alway hear it when the toilet gets flushed and they’ll say ‘were you just using the bathroom while I was talking to you? Oh, that’s gross!’ Well it’s not like you had to see it or anything! Dayum!
February 27, 2007 at 10:59 am |
If I’m on the phone, and I gotta’ go, well I just go! But for some the prudish people I flush after I get off the phone!
February 27, 2007 at 11:17 am |
There is no hope for you.
My hubby just hangs up when he’s done with me. I hate it! Not even good-bye. Just flicks that fucker shut. His dad does it too, so at least it’s not me, right?
February 27, 2007 at 12:39 pm |
lol. that’s disgusting.
February 27, 2007 at 1:40 pm |
That is how The Man gets me off the phone too!
February 27, 2007 at 2:07 pm |
I may be one of the few, but as long as I can hear no discernible droppage, I’m good. We all do it, it’s life.
But if it works for you, run with it!
February 27, 2007 at 2:20 pm |
I always lie about why I’m grunting and breathing heavily on the phone.
February 27, 2007 at 4:50 pm |
can’t blame her for hanging up. I’m thinking I would need to lysol the phone too.
February 27, 2007 at 4:54 pm |
It’s nice to hear there are others out there with the same affliction.
February 27, 2007 at 5:14 pm |
My S/O tells me I have ESP, because everytime his dick is in his hand, I call. (when he is peeing…pervert)
February 27, 2007 at 7:17 pm |
Maybe she should just text you LOL.
February 27, 2007 at 8:46 pm |
LOL. I don’t even know what to say to this post.
February 27, 2007 at 9:23 pm |
ha-ha-ha…..
You need to share a picture of you on the toilet grunting on the phone with 1/2 melted ice cream and kleenex shoved up your nose!!
You Could Win Another Award!!!
February 27, 2007 at 11:08 pm |
A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do! LOL
February 27, 2007 at 11:39 pm |
You’re sick and eating sugar? What’s wrong with you, boy?
February 28, 2007 at 1:06 am |
Oh that’s a riot. hahahahaha Are you sure you and Chuck aren’t one in the same or separated at birth?
February 28, 2007 at 10:10 am |
LOL… Oh god, I’m afraid I’d hang up on you too, Slick!
March 1, 2007 at 1:52 pm |
Okay, my first visit here and I find you talking about cleavage, something I was about to post about myself – I, too, love cleavage, it is fascinating and beautiful and oh so nice to watch. But…do women at work need to show so much??? It can be extremely distracting in meetings when there is cleave everywhere you turn.
Just my .02 cents – guess now I don’t need to post about it~
March 1, 2007 at 9:03 pm |
The OTHER Trish
My husband once called me while he was out huntin’ and takin’ a whizz… After he had been in the woods for a week with da boys, I’m just happy he remembered our phone number. LOL