Today Is My….

Yep, today I celebrated my 36th year on this mean and hostile planet.

One co-worker said “He said he’s 36 but I swear he’s 50″ . Yeah, kiss my ass.

My 7 year old daughter exclaimed “Daddy, you’re an old man!”  Thanks princess.

There were other instances of ego bruising by mean spirited people but I can’t possibly remember them all, with age…forgetfulness grows.

Be that as it may, I couldn’t actually drink being that I had to work but  folks, I’m off Monday. So Monday will be my drinking day. What level of drunkedness I partake in will be left entirely up to you bastards, my readers…..all 3 million of you.

Level 1?

Just remember, I’ll have to clean up after myself. Keep that in consideration please.

Level 2?

Well, I won’t clean a mess like that up. Pick this one?

Last but least…Level 3?

I reckon’ I need to get started before I get off Monday?

3 Things….

Helpful advice for any man that stays home alone with 4 children.

Repeat these 3 things….

1. )“I don’t care who put it there, I said to pick it up!”

2. )“You’re hurt? Are you bleeding? Then you ain’t hurt too bad. Quit crying”

3. )“Bring it here and I’ll fix it.”

Oh, damn…I almost forgot.

There is one more…..

4. )“Trish’ll clean it up when she gets home. Don’t worry about it, continue fighting.”

Well folks, if I haven’t told you….I’m traveling out of town for work again. Leaving today. Ya’ll be safe and shit.

The Day After the Day After….

The title don’t even make sense but I’m not so sure I always do either so….

We have had all 4 kids for the last 2 days.

The apartment is a wreck, my nerves are frayed, and so far every night Trish and I climb into bed we’re so worn out that I’m afraid my virginity is creeping back.

And today….Trish is back at work and I’m home alone with the little heathens. One man and 4 children. A disaster waiting to happen. If only Trish would’ve given me permission to use “any means necessary”…..

Woe is me…

For those of you interested, I’ve created a “movie” tab up top….a movie I’ve sent out to several family members. 

You folks have a good day…and for those of you who are off?   HELP!!

My Bad….

I want to thank those of you who have emailed me, commented, and offered me covered dishes over the last 3 weeks. I’m posting today to inform each of you nosy bastards folks that all is well down here in the South.

I am not a man inclined to violence but if the situation arose, I’d send you, your spouse, your Uncle, and your domesticated furry rodent to the local ER.

With that being said….

My neighbor is gay.

To each his own but if I catch the bastard looking at my crotch one more time, I’m going to shove something down his throat…and no you perverts, it won’t be my crotchal regions.

I was going to be all secretive and shit with this site…and I still am if none of you use the uh…my “old” screen name :p  (I’m not mentioning any names Martie)

But to hell with it just this once…

Here’s my present to you greedy folks. A picture I posted last Christmas and since it’s Christmas time again, I find this picture very fitting.

Merry Christmas folks.