I walked into the living room and my girlfriend was watching some reality program that was showing some kind of beauty contest being held at a Hooters restaraunt.
Stopped me dead in my tracks….strike one. See, I know where I screwed up here. I should’ve just non chalantly kept walking and sit down to watch…but no, I had to stop mid stride and watch the screen. See, stopping in midstride like that shows interest….and one doesn’t want to show interest when there’s opposite sex in bikinis on TV when the better half is nearby.
So…like any other dumbass male, I tried to play it off…
“Wow, what porn movie is this?” I asked jokingly…
She just looked at me for a second before directing her glare back to the TV. She’s not in a joking mood so perhaps that was strike two? By this point, I don’t have a damn clue how many strikes I have. I’m just standing at home plate with a bat in my hands all confused and shit…anyway….
I’ll turn this around, make her love me and shit…
“I like that brunette’s swimsuit right there. It’s quite revealing. You know what? I think you’d look awesome in it!”
She just glared at me again….I’m thinking that’s 3 strikes or 4, hell if I know, but she hasn’t hit me yet so I guess I’m still on the safe side, right?
Remember, I’m a dumbass male.
But I’m a sensitive manly dumbass male. I sensed what her problem was….
“Look babe, don’t let those women intimidate you. You have a beautiful smile and I love your attitude, ok?”
I was being sensitive and caring but somehow I managed to gather what felt like 20 strikes in less than 3 minutes.
Women are so freakin’ moody.
November 22, 2006 at 3:24 pm |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Way to go, Slick!
On a side note, I think you should call your girlfriend, Belle. It means beauty in French or something.
November 22, 2006 at 3:30 pm |
What was she doing watching a Hooters thing anyway?
You were set up, dude.
November 22, 2006 at 3:44 pm |
Man, don’t do that again without letting us know where you went! I was havin’ a panic attack thinkin’ the worst, ya know. That’s what Mom’s do, always think the worst possible thing has happend.
Piece of advice….next time you walk in a room and notice Trish watching something on TV like that, DON’T even look at the TV, look directly at her, walk up to her and give her a kiss on the cheek, then pick up a magazine and start browsing through it and NEVER, EVER glance at the TV screen until after she has spoken to you!!!
November 22, 2006 at 4:33 pm |
Hey, like the new digs. I was wondering why you seemed to have suddenly closed shop.
And there’s no winning when Hooters is involved; you should know that! (Although, Hooters is not nearly as threatening as popular culture makes it out to be. My favorite description of Hooters came from another blogger, who called it “Ruby Tuesdays in hot pants”. Now, the Victoria’s Secret gals? That is threatening. Perform a mercy suicide on yourself if she ever catches you perusing that catalogue.)
November 22, 2006 at 6:15 pm |
Here I is! And I totally understand about being found and all that jazz. No more pics of us either. Or personal reference…We’re now in the witness protection program. Welcome.
November 23, 2006 at 3:36 am |
ha ha ha. Smooth move ex-lax.
November 24, 2006 at 3:20 am |
cool site and new name……
No advice on what to do…..except….
“Babe, you are way hotter then all of them…..” and then just stare at her…and admire..
okay…that’s extremely corny…….but it shounds good….
November 24, 2006 at 3:25 am |
Hey Slick! Glad I found ya! Missed your commentary, that’s 4-sure…true-dat, true-dat.
I’ll post it for a second time: Another example of when the lower brain takes over and controls the upper brain. I know you’re a man and you can’t help it. Hopefully your honey understands that too!
November 28, 2006 at 1:40 pm |
OMG!
That so totally could have been a scene right out of my living room!!
Cool blog ya have here…I always enjoy seeing things from a Male perspective. Even if it is WHACK…
November 28, 2006 at 3:51 pm |
Very funny.
November 28, 2006 at 4:06 pm |
What?
December 1, 2006 at 6:41 pm |
lol.
you can’t win on this one. just accept it.