Here It Is….

March 15, 2007

Follow me….just don’t look at my ass. I’m almost married.

slicksumbich.com 


Even I Am Excited….

March 14, 2007

Something big is taking place as I type this.

I’ll be back once it’s over.

When that will be….your guess is as good as mine.

Details later.


Something’s Wrong….

March 14, 2007

I bought a brand new pair of boots Monday night for work. Put them on Tuesday morning so I could “feel” them out a little. Looked down….

They were a different color, not much, but still noticable.

Took them off……they were also 2 different sizes.

I attribute this problem to my lack of golf time, XBox time, and the need for getting laid.

I guess masturbation really does cause your eyesight to go bad.

Did you know that? Oh, sorry….CAN YOU READ THIS?


I Am Appalled….

March 13, 2007

Look to the right…..see my blogroll?

I thought you were all decent people. I had assumed I was the one that was sick and perverted. Not anymore.

I know the truth now and I am sickened.

This could’ve been a site for all ages but it’s reputation is tarnished by your pervertedness. Just look at this…..

list

Which one of you “filthy women wants to know about lickin mens ass”?

And which one of you has exploded a bra? How do you explode a bra anyway? I’m assuming we’re not dealing with demolitions so, my question stands.

I never knew funbags could be so dangerous.

And for the guy who’s wife is too sexually aggressive. I know a million men who could help you with your problem. Not me, I’m almost married.

So, I’ll be accepting apologies from you disgusting bastards. Who’s first?

By the way, if you’ve noticed a “Suzie-Q” posting a comment, if you ever read anything she posts that directly relates to me or my childhood….she’s lying. Don’t believe her.

Unless it inflates my ego.

That’s my “real life” sister.


I Have A Question….

March 12, 2007

I’m not the brightest sumbich in the south but I do pride myself on having a little common sense but for the life of me I have yet to figure out……

flavored condoms

What is the purpose of “flavored condoms”?  Seriously, I’d like to know.

What male would want a uh….oral examination of his crotchal regions while wearing a condom? Or better yet, what female would want to give an oral examination of a man’s crotchal regions while he has one on?

Buying “flavored condoms” is like …well…

Like buying scented motor oil. Who in the hell would care if their motor oil was scented?

“Hey Brenda, Castrol just came out with some apple cinnamon 10w30. I have some in my potpourri bowl now!” 

Look, I’m not being stupid, I’m just curious is all. I only know of one place you put a damn rubber and I’m pretty sure that place doesn’t have taste buds. Well, I know another place  but I’m not gay….that place doesn’t have taste buds either.

Help a clueless sumbich out…

What’s the purpose of “flavored condoms”?


The White Tiger….

March 9, 2007

I took my 12 year old son to the golf course today. I know, I mentioned that in my earlier post but I’m recapping. Shut the hell up and let me do it.

We teased and taunted each other, got into 2 shoving matches, and came damn close to a full blown fistfight, had it not been for my Big Bertha driver cocked back and ready to deliver some blows, he would’ve charged.

But….I wasn’t scared.

Slick ain’t scared of shit.

I ain’t even scared of Tiger Woods. He’s rich and content….no desire left. This is where I step in, as evidenced by the video below. Except I’m white.

Introducing the White Tiger.

Have a great weekend and save me a beer or three.


A Momentous Occasion….

March 9, 2007

Today, my friends, marks a momentous occasion here at “The Slick Sumbich”. It is my 45th post.

“Why” you ask, “is the 45th post so significant?”

Well, I’ll tell you.

For 45 days, I have unwaveringly given you greedy bastards advice on how to get laid, given you a male’s perspective on certain topics, and have shared with you my lurid sexual affairs.

After 45 days, I need a day off.

Today, it’s your turn to give me some advice. Whether it be of the sexual nature, how to apply blush evenly, or how I should arrange Trisha’s panty drawer.

I don’t care, just give me some advice, any kind on any topic will help me.

I knew I could count on my greedy bastard friends.

Why am I taking the day off? Because I’m taking my son to the golf course. A movie will be posted tomorrow! Seriously, I’ll be mad if you don’t come back to view it. It’s the weekend, like you folks have anything better to do. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a Tiger Woods in the making and I’m not talking about my son.

Christina (the preacherman’s wench) has advised me that I need to broaden my porn collection. I took her advice. (See? I take advice!)

sexy and perfect

Damn, “Sexy” and “Perfect”!

You folks have a good one.


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